msg is the bomb (unknownid) wrote,
msg is the bomb


we went away to the beach for the weekend. At about 9:30 this morning we went to pick the dogs up at the kennel, which is run by our wonderful vet. she looked grim, said that Mae was having trouble breathing; she'd stabilized her but we needed to take her to the emergency room right away. we did. they discovered that not only was one of her lungs filled with somethingorother, she had a large blood clot in her heart.

there were a few things that could have been done, but nothing that would have actually improved her poor prognosis; there was no way to get the clot out. and all interventions would have involved her spending nights alone in the hospital, rather than on the pillow of our bed as she's accustomed.

i feel like saying "she died," because she did, but the truth is that we killed her. i don't regret it. we couldn't have left her there alone and scared unless it would've helped, and it wouldn't have. she was just a little dog. she wouldn't've understood.

have been crying solidly for about eight hours. my head is pressure-packed full of snot.

what a hell of a price we pay for loving these animals.

i don't fucking care if you're on a dialup. get a cup of coffee or something while it's loading. she's worth it.

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